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You just don’t understand

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I’ll hear you more,

To the bottom of your story,

And never interrupt you.

Shakespeare, Pericles V, 1

 

How many people can actually tell their story and not be interrupted by the person listening? Hardly anyone, for as soon as you start to tell your tale, you are interrupted by whatever story the listener has to tell as they jump in and counter your discourse. Men involved with women, put up your hand if you agree.

Perhaps the only individual who pays rapt attention and does not interrupt is the psychiatrist who listens to the patient and merely nods with assent and says, “I see, I see.” One other such person is the bartender who listens with great interest, real or imagined, to the imbiber across the counter and agrees with everything that he says. “Yes man, true words, woman is nutten but crosses.”

Both are remunerated for listening, one by the hour, and the other by the amount of drinks that can be served. The point is, those people are paid to listen. No wonder lots of people complain that they are either not heard or worse, not understood. “You just don’t understand why I do what I do, you just don’t understand.”

We’ll see who understands, right after these clearly understood responses to my ‘Cheating triggers’ rant last week.

 

Hi Tony,

Regarding what you said about the various triggers for cheating, some men may not realise that they want sex until the woman presents the opportunity and sends her siren call to her prey, then the trigger is cocked. Those women provide the ammunition and make themselves the target.

Gary

 

Hey Tony,

I’ve just read your footnote to the ‘Cheating triggers’ article and feel duty bound to respond, regarding those schools that fail to show up for the return matches after losing heavily in the first leg. What has happened is that the competition has become a foregone conclusion with the big schools dividing the spoils every time. The matchups you referred to cannot be considered true competition. The small fry were just being set up for big teams to amass huge scores, like lambs to the slaughter.

Fara

 

There’s this comedy stand-up routine by the late American comedian Bernie Mac that must rank among the funniest of all time. I saw it on BET‘s Def Comedy Jam many years ago, but if you Google it, you can watch it for yourself. It’s called, ‘You just don’t understand’, and I guarantee you’ll laugh your head off.

‘You just don’t understand,’ isn’t that what men say to their women all the time? “Honey, it’s a man thing, you just don’t understand.” How true it is. Speak to any man who’s involved with a woman in any form girlfriend, fiancée, live-in love, common-law or married and you’ll hear the cry, “You just don’t understand.”

And what, pray tell, don’t women understand? Oh, let me count the ways. First let’s discuss sports. Sports must be the most important element in a man’s life, yet women just don’t understand it.

Just recently, legendary football great Neville Oxford of KC and national fame brought up the topic with me, and lamented how many women don’t appreciate or understand the passion that men have for sports.

We always meet up at KC Manning Cup matches, rain or shine, and sometimes get soaked by the rain that occurs there. After one particularly heavy deluge, many cellphones started to ring from concerned spouses who expressed bewilderment why grown men would suffer in the rain just to watch schoolboys kicking a ball around.

“Robbie, women just don’t understand,” said Neville, after his phone call ended. It’s not just about watching a football game, it’s meeting up with old friends and past schoolmates, reliving and rehashing our past glories, plus shooting the breeze with bredrin and bredrin. It’s buying chicken soup, penny bun and cheese and boiled corn from the vendors.

I make sure that I take home two boiled corn for my wife after every match, to score some points. No boiled corn tastes as good as those from those vendors at the matches, which adds to the experience.

Yes, it’s sort of male bonding, and even if you aren’t into the male bonding scenario such as going to the bars and such, attending these schoolboy football matches is a great pastime, but women just don’t understand.

When I tell my better half that there’s a KC match on a Saturday, I can see her countenance change, for Saturdays are the days when we hang out. “Match this Saturday again, you going to match in the rain?” But the prospect of two hot, sweet boiled corn salves the angst and is the Balm of Gilead. So even if women just don’t understand, we can ease their discontent.

Another area where women don’t understand is when men get sick. I saw this caption on WhatsApp that said, “Only a woman who experiences the pain of childbirth can understand how a man with a cold feels.”

It’s a known fact that when a man catches a simple cold his world comes to a screeching halt and so should everyone else’s. My bredrin caught a cold the other day and is experiencing a living hell. “Honey, I’m dying, I can’t take it anymore, my nose is stuffy, I’m burning up, I’m in pain, I’m dying.”

He says that his wife just humours him and takes it lightly, all because she just does not understand. “Teerob, can you believe she still wants me to do the chores in the state that I’m in?” I told him, “Bredrin, it’s just a little fresh cold, it’ll soon pass.” He still insists, “She just doesn’t understand.”

I remember my parents too, as my mom appeared to never get sick. In reality, even if she did, her mommy duties never stopped and her routine was never broken. But dear dad, whenever a cold brushed him, the entire household came to a halt. Women just don’t understand. Hmm, maybe a man’s cold is really worse than a woman’s.

Another area where women just don’t understand is that of sex. You know that I’d eventually get to that. Women just don’t understand that a man will get involved with sex no matter what the circumstances are. If the woman is upset or angry with the man, she will not have sex with him. Conversely, a man does not care. She’ll remonstrate, “How can you approach me for sex after that argument we just had?” His response, “Huh, what does having an argument have to do with no sex?”

The man does not care if she’s vexed as a Tasmanian Devil, or moody as a petulant child, when he wants his pounding of flesh, he wants it. Apologies to Shylock and his legendary pound of flesh.

Women will give various reasons not to indulge, “Shh, mommy is in the house, the kids might wake up, my head hurts, I just washed my hair, I’m still angry with you.”

I have a friend who once broke his leg, and even while in the cast he insisted on having sex with his woman. That’s just how men operate when it comes to separating sex from everything else, there are no impediments, no hindrances. Women just don’t understand.

Men expect the same courtesy from women, so even when she’s not feeling well, mash up, pop down, bellyache, headache, two broken arms, he’ll say, “Cho honey, just roll over, lay still, I’ll do the work.”

There are too many variables to obstruct sex, while the only one to prevent a man is serious illness or loss of erection. Apart from that, it’s 5- 4- 3- 2- 1 lift off. Women just don’t understand.

Women don’t understand that men still look at other women even if they’re in a committed relationship. It’s a man thing and doesn’t mean anything at all. So many women get irate, incensed, upset and even violent if their man even looks at another woman. “I saw you looking at that pretty girl, you disgusting louse.”

Women don’t understand that not because a man looks at another woman means that he’s up to something untoward. That’s why so many guys are terrified to even glance casually at any other female if their woman is present. It’s no big thing, and women just don’t understand.

Now, do men understand? That’s for another day.

More time.

seido1yard@gmail.com

 

Footnote: I’m watching with great interest the situation where students are locked out of schools for arriving late. I can’t say that I agree with locking them out, for they’ll just be on the streets creating more mischief. But punitive measures have to be taken. The president of the Jamaica Teachers’ Association expressed that most of those habitual latecomers are also the troublemakers and delinquents in the school system. They are the ones always in trouble and with low grades. The parents, when summoned do not show up, and teachers certainly will not go to their homes out of fear. I suggest having a school area designated for them, where perhaps they can be counselled. Anyone who thinks that running a high school is easy, should think again. Between children, parents and even teachers, it’s a challenge. Even some former prison warders wouldn’t tackle that task.

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Photo: Advancing science education

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Photo: Advancing science education

Thursday, November 21, 2019

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Jamaican American Connection (JAC) New Haven President Karaine Holness (left) presents equipment, including SMART whiteboards, books, lab equipment such as lab glassware, stationery supplies and various labspecific consumables, to the principal of Convent of Mercy Academy “Alpha”, Kali McMorris (second left), and Arthens Smith (second right) of Holy Trinity High School while JAC member Janice Hart looks on, at Alpha in Kingston on Tuesday. As part of the initiative to advance science education, equipment was also handed over to Kingston College.
(Photo: Garfield Robinson)


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Gov’t gets support from Church to fight challenge to buggery laws

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Gov’t gets support from Church to fight challenge to buggery laws

Thursday, November 21, 2019

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KINGSTOWN, St Vincent (CMC) — High Court Judge Justice Esco Henry yesterday ruled to allow 10 churches, calling themselves the Christian Coalition, to join the Ralph Gonsalves Government in responding to the constitutional challenge to the buggery and gross indecency laws in St Vincent and the Grenadines.

Justice Henry handed down the ruling one week after hearing arguments from the Christian Coalition and lawyers for the claimants, gay Vincentians Sean MacLeish and Javin Johnson.

Shirlan “Zita” Barnwell, one of the two lawyers representing the claimants, told the Caribbean Media Corporation (CMC) that the judge agreed to allow the churches to join the lawsuit as an interested party.

He said they will be allowed to file written submissions and make oral arguments to the court.

However, in terms of evidence, the churches are restricted to filing two affidavits, Barnwell said.

Justice Henry is expected to issue her written ruling today.

Barnwell and Jomo Thomas are representing the claimants, who say the country’s anti-buggery and gross indecency laws contravene their constitutional rights.

Under the Criminal Code, any person who commits buggery with any other person, commits buggery with an animal, or permits any person to commit buggery with him or her is guilty of an offence and liable to imprisonment for 10 years.

The Criminal Code also says that any person who, whether in public or private, commits any act of gross indecency with another person of the same sex, or procures or attempts to procure another person of the same sex to commit an act of gross indecency with him or her, is guilty of an offence and liable to imprisonment for five years.

The men are asking the court to declare the laws unconstitutional, void and of no effect.

Ten churches had asked to join the attorney general in responding to the challenge to these laws. They include the Seventh-day Adventist Church; Evangelical Church of the West Indies; New Testament Church of God; Spiritual Baptist Church; Church of God St  Vincent; New Life Ministries; Light of Truth Church of God; Kingstown Baptist Church; Living Water Ministries International; and Hope Evangelism Outreach Ministries.

Last week Wednesday, hundreds of Vincentians took to the streets in support of the present legislation and urged the authorities not to amend the legislation to suit the claimants.

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Nine Caribbean countries to participate in new UN project

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Nine Caribbean countries to participate in new UN project

Thursday, November 21, 2019

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BRIDGETOWN, Barbados (CMC) — The United Nations Development Programme (UNDP) is launching a multi million-dollar project in nine Caribbean countries that will enable gender responsive disaster recovery, climate and environmental resilience (EnGenDER) in the Caribbean.

The US$15 million project will ensure equal access to sustainable solutions for the improved resilience of women and men in Antigua and Barbuda, Belize, Dominica, Grenada, Guyana, Jamaica, St Lucia, St Vincent and the Grenadines and Suriname.

It is being funded by Canada and the United Kingdom Department for International Development.

UNDP said that its prior support to the development of National Adaptation Plans (NAPs) and Nationally Appropriate Mitigation Actions (NAMAs) will now be scaled up as a result of the new project.

The NAP process was created by the United Nations as an opportunity for countries to plan for sustainable development in the face of climate stress while NAMAs, on the other hand, focus on mitigation – reducing greenhouse gas (GHG) emissions.

EnGenDER will support the implementation of priority areas, as identified by partner governments, within these policy documents, ensuring that plans are gender-responsive – considering the vulnerabilities, strengths and needs of different groups of women and men. This work will be undertaken through consultative and participatory approaches, with key stakeholders identifying and leading priority actions.

UNDP resident representative for Barbados and the Organisation of Eastern Caribbean States (OECS) Magdy Martinez Soliman, said “Canada and the United Kingdom have been working collaboratively in the region for many years and this project provides a new opportunity to demonstrate our commitment to increasing resilience in the Caribbean.

“It is anticipated that the partnerships built at the regional and national levels will produce important results as the region faces the increasing impacts of climate change.”

The UNDP said that it is coordinating the collaborative project that includes UN Women, partnering to build capacity in developing gender-responsive plans, and conducting behavioural analysis of gender-responsiveness in risk governance among decision makers as well as the World Food Programme (WFP), which is working to enhance social protection systems to make them more shock-responsive.

EnGenDER will integrate a gender equality and human rights-based approach into disaster risk reduction, climate change adaptation and environmental actions.

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